People like being noticed and making new friends through social media. But if you keep getting sugar daddy requests on Instagram, it’s a scam. It is not unusual to receive a friend request or private message from a random person. This article will tell you the red flags, so you know for sure when a request is a scam. We will also reveal to you how the scam works.
Unsolicited Sugar Daddy requests on Instagram are from scammers. Real sugar daddies do not send requests to random people. Instead, they would use one of the various websites devoted to finding sugar babies or private referrals. You should ignore any unprovoked requests you receive from someone you do not know.
Table of Contents
Sugar Daddy Meaning
The definition of a sugar daddy is a man who pays for a long-term relationship with another person. This includes sexual contact but that is not the result of every contact. They call the other person it involves a sugar baby.
The usual gender roles involved are a male sugar daddy and a female sugar baby. The female is typically much younger hence the daddy and baby terms. However, these dynamics can vary especially in a changing society. As cultures change, things that were once deemed wrong or taboo are now accepted. There can now be male sugar daddies with male sugar babies. Likewise, there can now be sugar mommas.
Why is it called Sugar Daddy?
How this arraignment differs from other forms of sexual activity is as follows. Typically, men who use prostitutes do not engage with the same person consistently. There would also be a lack of non-sexually related communication between them.
Finally, currency changes hand directly as money and it is a 1 for 1 exchange. Conversely, sugar daddies often pay for sugar babies by buying them expensive items or paying their debts. Also, as mentioned previously, the payments are more frequent and not only for the purpose of sexual activity.
Why Would a sugar daddy ask for Money?
Anywhere you see the exchange of money, you will find scammers. In the sugar daddy world, it is no different. Maybe you have heard the concept of following the money. This is often how law enforcement catches scammers. The concept of intercepting this exchange of money without hard work is what attracts them.
Sugar Baby Allowance
With this in mind, let’s think about just how much money is at stake. You may wonder how much money do sugar babies make. There are no regulations in this industry as there are for carmakers. No government agency is going to have an accurate measure of how much these people make. They know how many car sales there are because of these regulations. Likewise, sugar babies are not going to report this income to the IRS for tax purposes.
The best way to think of how much they make is to understand that people need a certain level of income to make the job worth it. A small majority of sugar babies do not have employment other than the sugar baby activities. I would place the likely income as moderate $20,000 to $40,000 per year.
On the low end, you would not be able to support yourself full time without another job. On the higher end, you would not have to find other employment if you managed your finances and kept your expenses low.
Because of this potential large amount of money, it’s easy to see why scammers are so eager to take advantage.
Common Scams
In order to spot most sugar daddy scams, I will identify the most common scenarios. Many scammers will say they sent you money through an online payment app such as the Cash App or PayPal. The problem is there are clearance fees you must first pay in order to accept the money.
Typically, they claim they are sending you $2,000 to $3,000. So $100 or $200 as a fee seems like a good deal. The problem is they can recover the money sent and possibly keep your fee too. These methods of payment are not fully secure. In PayPal there are chargebacks and, in most applications, transfers can be disputed.
Another major scam involves the request for you to buy gift cards. This is another method of sending money that is not secure. It is harder to trace the other person in case of a scam.
Fake Sugar Daddy Signs
Finding fake profiles is not only simple but it can be a fun activity if you are bored. A common theme they have is laziness. First focus on the profile picture. A scammer is clearly not going to use a picture of themselves. This is to avoid revealing their identity. Also, they are likely not in the same age range or are of the same race as the person they are pretending to be.
Lastly, they as likely to have multiple profiles to attract more victims so they don’t want the same image on all of them.
One profile I found tried to use a famous person’s picture. Look for profiles with multiple pictures where the person in the image is similar but is not even the same person. Finally, save the images to your computer and go to Google Image search. From there, see how many appear and from what sources. A real profile picture should be used very few or not at all.
Google Image Search Uncovers Fake Sugar Daddy Profile
Another tell is the common phrases they use on multiple profiles. Like I said above they don’t want to use the same pictures, but they are not creative enough and likely too lazy to change the wording. Look for multiple profiles that have identical wording in the profile or in the advertisements.
Lastly, poor grammar is another indicator of a scam. I do not like to throw stones since I do not have great grammar. However, what I’m referring to are profiles of people trying to appear as the same nationality as their victim.
Sometimes it is easy to see when they write their profiles in poor English because that is not their primary language. At the end of my article about 876 Area Code Scams, I talk about the high rate of scammers in Jamaica due to the economic turmoil there. The same can be true in this case.
Is it illegal to have a sugar daddy
It is legal to be a sugar daddy or a sugar baby. This is because it is possible to live this lifestyle without the sexual aspect. Once there is an exchange of money and it can be proven that sex is a factor, that is when this activity becomes illegal. As you’ve previously read, people become sugar daddies for a wide range of reasons and their motivations vary. If they are just looking for companionship, to spoil someone, or find a future mate, their lifestyle is safe from prosecution.
There are some notable exceptions when it comes to the age of the participants. It can be difficult if not impossible to verify the age of the sugar baby you are dealing with. There are varying laws in jurisdictions with having sexually charged conversations with minors. The U.S. Justice Department often charges sugar daddies for sexual contact with minors like the one described here on the Justice Department website.
A major problem with the sugar daddy lifestyle is the nexus of human trafficking. Much like pimps trafficking prostitutes. There is a potential for men to take advantage of vulnerable women and forcing them to participate in sugar daddy-associated activities in order to make money for the ringleader.
Is having a sugar daddy wrong?
Finally, there are moral and ethical considerations to consider. Most sugar daddies and sugar babies report being happy and satisfied with their current situation. With the motivations listed in the above paragraphs, it’s hard to imagine all people involved are truly happy.
Furthermore, this lifestyle is in clear contradiction to mainstream societal norms. Most people do not find this activity normal or acceptable. Being a sugar daddy currently falls in a social grey area. It’s accepted enough so that it is not currently deemed illegal. However, it is almost shunned to a point of not being socially mainstream. Only time will tell what the future hold for its acceptance.
Why become a sugar daddy?
- Lack of confidence
- Changing society norms
- Lifestyle choice
- Wealthy with an Ego
- Addicted to sex
The above list is not all-inclusive and you should not consider it a complete checklist. Not all sugar daddies fall into one of these categories, but it covers most. First, it’s possible the man lacks the confidence to initiate and sustain a lasting relationship without paying for it.
Alternatively, with the changing societal norms, more people are being born into increasingly dynamic situations. This affects their views on relationships and can cause them to choose a similar path once they are of age.
The types of people who do this are typically wealthy older men. They often have a different thought process and a higher likelihood of being divorced. This can turn them away from repeating the same mistakes. Also, they may be more likely to refuse the common acceptance of monogamy. Think of Mormons in Utah.
Most notably, a core part of their lifestyle is for multiple women to marry one man. These are good, moral, intelligent people who make this choice. One difference is they were likely to be born into this type of community. Another difference is these people make this choice as a basis in their faith.
Personality of a Sugar Daddy
Some people simply follow this pattern as a matter of a lifestyle choice. Consider the adage of different strokes for different folks. The sugar daddy or baby lifestyle may not be for you. Some people are repulsed or look down on people who participate. The reality is with billions of people on the planet, not everyone is going to think the same or agree.
One common scenario that leads to people becoming sugar daddies is wealthy people with an ego. Once someone has money, more money may not be enough for them to be satisfied. It also depends on their personality as obviously simply being wealthy does not lead someone to this lifestyle. Often, an overactive ego drives people with wealth to use it in unusual ways. When they discover they can use their money to enhance their sex life it falls into place.
Lastly, on this certainly not all-encompassing list are the nymphomaniacs. These people are addicted to sex. Their drive has gotten to the point where they will use their money to achieve their goal. Likewise, one partner would not be enough. The sugar daddy lifestyle would allow them to have as many partners as they can afford.
That is why some people choose to be unfaithful to their spouses. There are websites just for cheating spouses. We have an article about Ashley Madison and its safety you can read here.
Why do you need a Sugar Daddy?
- Changing society norms
- Lifestyle choice
- Addicted to sex
- Low self-esteem
- Desperate for money
Again, this list is not all-inclusive. There is a wide range of reasons people become sugar babies and sometimes it can not be explained. I’ve picked just some of the basic reasons that are easy to understand. The first three on the list mirror those motivations of sugar daddies.
Alternatively, low self-esteem is a possible cause of someone finding this lifestyle. Some people do not know they deserve a better life and should treat themselves better than a product. A lot of this thought process forms over time as the person is developing as a child.
Lastly, some people are otherwise unable to financially support themselves. Most Americans do not have enough savings to support themselves in case of an emergency. Credit card debt is a major issue as is student loan debt. For these reasons, it is possible for people to find themselves in a desperate financial situation.
Profile of a Sugar Baby
Types of people who do this are usually younger females with limited experience in long-term relationships. Also, it is more likely for the person to have a stronger personality with a focus on independence. This is ironic because someone else, the sugar daddy is often paying their debts and for their lifestyle in general. Regardless, sugar babies feel freer because of the lack of a classic relationship that could otherwise restrict their choices.
Sugar babies are often compared to prostitutes and escorts because of the sexual element involving money. The main difference between the two is that sugar babies tend to be more loyal to fewer sugar daddies. The word loyalty may not be accurate as it is a matter of lack of time rather than by choice.
Sugar babies are usually required to spend a significant time talking to and interacting with a sugar daddy. This limits their ability to move from one customer to the next as a prostitute may.
Why is it so Hard to Find a Sugar Daddy?
I do not intend for this article to be a how-to guide. But I want to provide general information to appease your curiosity. These are the three best places to find a sugar daddy. The first is through social media.
A simple search online for the right terms will lead to a host of people looking for this kind of arrangement. There are countless websites that not only entertain but promote the sugar daddy lifestyle. The problem with this tactic is the scammers you will find are plentiful.
The next method I’ll mention is through classic dating measures. This includes social gatherings and, yes mere encounters at bars. This mirrors how you might find a classic relationship, but you would meet all kinds of people. A major drawback is you may not have a high success rate for finding willing mates.
Lastly, the most ideal situation would be through a referral or setup. This way, it takes the guesswork out of finding the right like-minded person. It is also a good way to avoid scams if the person you are taking the referral from is known to you and is trustworthy themselves.
The difficulty in this situation is most people do not know someone who is able to make a referral. In that case, it may be beneficial to seek authentic sugar babies and find out who their contacts are and start from there.
Conclusion
You are getting sugar daddy requests because scams are so prevalent. Any requests you did not somehow instigate you should assume to be fraudulent unless proven otherwise.
There is a community of sugar daddies, but you would not be contacted by a sincere person out of the blue. The best thing you can do is ignore and block the user. Sharing the information with others may be a good idea so you can help them learn what scams to avoid.